


and i will hold on to you

by sodelicate



Category: Free!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Karaoke, M/M, Mentions of Taylor Swift, Singing, the entire premise of this is that rin is a (closeted) swiftie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26856829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodelicate/pseuds/sodelicate
Summary: Of all things Sousuke was expecting to see when returning to his dorm, a pile of Taylor Swift merch is definitely not one of them.But here he is, standing in the doorway and watching as Rin sits there frozen amidst pastel shirts and badges like a child who just got caught stealing cookies at midnight.Sousuke learns something new about Rin's taste in music, and it doesn't change a thing about how he sees his best friend and rival.
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	and i will hold on to you

**Author's Note:**

> okay so uh, i wrote this a really REALLY long time ago (think december last year sdksdnfjds) and legit FORGOT to post this. i've been procrastinating posting this bc i've been busy and my interests have shifted a little, but i decided i needed to free up space in my google drive so here it is :) enjoy!

Of all things Sousuke was expecting to see when returning to his dorm, a pile of Taylor Swift merch is definitely not one of them.

But here he is, standing in the doorway and watching as Rin sits there frozen amidst pastel shirts and badges like a child who just got caught stealing cookies at midnight.

“Uh, Rin…” Sousuke begins, unsure where to start. The copies of Taylor Swift’s face strewn all over Rin’s bed? The pastel colour palette of the merch which paints a screaming contrast to Rin’s mostly-black wardrobe? The fact that Rin looks torn between blowing up with rage, hyperventilating and digging a hole with his bare hands to never show his face to humanity ever again?

“THEY’RE FOR GOU,” Rin snaps. Immediately, like magic, he produces a pastel bag from nowhere and shovels “Gou’s” _Lover_ paraphernalia in it. 

“Gou... is a fan? I never knew that.”

Rin gets up, clutches the bag to his chest like a baby he’s trying to protect, and stalks to the door. “Well, now you know. Don’t you dare breathe a _word_ of this to anyone or I’ll make you do Item 13 for tomorrow’s training.”

Before Sousuke can either agree to those terms, remind Rin that Item 13 doesn’t terrify him as much as it does for their underclassmen, or point out that he doesn’t see why “Gou” being a Swiftie warrants keeping a military-level of secrecy about that fact, Rin vanishes from the room and leaves the door rattling in his wake. 

He dropped a badge, though. Curious, Sousuke picks it up. Unlike the other brand-new-looking merch, this one’s a little more beaten up around the edges. 

But it’s what’s scrawled in tiny, cramped handwriting on the back that catches his attention. 

_Property of Matsuoka Rin, 02.02.15_

Honestly, that guy. He should know by now that Sousuke wouldn’t look at him any differently regardless of his taste in music. Sousuke himself doesn’t care much for American pop—preferring alternative music—but if that’s what Rin likes then good for him. Besides, he knows Rin is a hopeless sappy romantic (even if Rin himself firmly insists on the contrary), so he can understand his draw to Taylor Swift. 

Still, if Rin is self-conscious about it then Sousuke won’t provoke him. No sense in adding on to Rin’s stresses, what with captainship duties, homework and figuring out what to do after graduation already weighing heavily on his mind. Figuring the kindest thing would be to not bring it up again, Sousuke leaves the fallen badge on the floor and heads back up to his bunk. 

(He watches Rin walk through the door, gasp when he spots the badge, then clamp his hands over his mouth to stifle the gasp. He gingerly picks the badge up the way one might to a sad abandoned puppy and deposits it gently in a drawer where the rest of his Taylor Swift merch is. Rin is really cute in his own weird tsundere way, even if he himself won’t admit it.)

* * *

Now that Sousuke knows what a huge closeted Swiftie Rin is, every fanboy-ish thing he does becomes obvious, almost painfully so. Sousuke catches Rin humming _You Need to Calm Down_ on their way back from their evening jog. He commends Rin on being able to hit the high notes, to which Rin scowls and tells him to do something very painful and anatomically implausible with a certain body part of his. When a classroom near theirs is blasting all of Taylor Swift’s greatest hits during Samezuka’s cultural festival, Sousuke can see Rin twitching at his post near the door, where he’s supposed to be welcoming the guests. He even catches Rin start tapping his foot for a few beats, only to catch himself and quickly school himself back into his Customer Service Mode. 

“You know, no one’s gonna care if you hum along a little,” Sousuke says, mostly just to mess with Rin. Vowing to respect Rin’s taste in music doesn’t mean he can’t poke a little harmless fun at him. “In fact, the girls—” He gestures to the clusters of girls around their _Maid Café From Hell_ who are checking Rin out with varying degrees of subtlety. “—might think it’s cute that the handsome butler that greeted them at the door is into Taylor Swift. It may even be good for business if we play her songs.”

“Shut it,” Rin hisses, swinging around to ram his knee against Sousuke’s ass when no one is looking. “I need to remain professional on the job or Captain Mikoshiba will never leave me alone. He called me last night and threatened to follow me into the afterlife if I don’t do a good job running the swim team’s _Maid Cafe From Hell_.”

Sousuke arches an eyebrow. “And you actually believe that?”

The look in Rin’s eyes is dark and haunted, almost like a war veteran’s. “You don’t know him like I do, Sousuke. Be glad you weren’t here last year.”

Sousuke decides it would be best for both their mental health to leave it at that, so he changes the subject. “Well, if you really wanna fulfill your fanboy needs while still fitting with our café’s aesthetic, I can ask Uozumi to blast that one song on the speaker. It’s, like, that super dark Disney-villain-esque one. What’s it called again? _Look at What You Caused Me to—_ ”

“ _Look What You Made Me Do_ ,” Rin cuts in with a snarl. 

Sousuke smirks. “See? You’re such a Swiftie, Rin.”

“Everyone fucking knows that song. Now get back to your job—that’s an order from your Captain!”

* * *

While Sousuke is having more fun than he thought he would teasing Rin for his tsundere Swiftie tendencies, it _would_ be nice to see Rin fully enjoy his favourite music without feeling self-conscious about it. But Sousuke is a wise man who knows his limits—and more importantly, he knows what Rin can be like when he gets all moody, pissed, cagey, or a nightmarish combination of all three. He also knows he isn’t exactly the best when it comes to emotions or other weird irrational things like that. He’s good at calling Rin out on his bullshit; he’s not good at dealing with Rin’s at-times volatile emotions, especially when he’s trying to act like he is anything but. 

Hence, Sousuke enlists the help of the Iwatobi guys to try and bring Rin out of his pastel-coloured shell. He doesn’t think it’ll _actually_ work and that Rin won’t _actually_ agree to a karaoke session with the Iwatobi guys, but he does, surprisingly enough. 

When they get to the karaoke booth, though, it’s Iwatobi guys who surprise him this time. While he isn’t entirely surprised by the fact that Ryuugazaki and Hazuki are reasonably decent singers, Haru and Makoto are the ones that surprise him. Against all expectations Sousuke once upon a time had of him, Makoto has an _incredible_ voice for rock songs. His voice goes rough in the most raw and guttural of ways in perfect tune with the roaring guitar riffs, leaving Sousuke covered in goosebumps. 

But what surprises him even more is that when Makoto hands the microphone to Haru, he takes it— _and_ without protest. 

_Seriously, this guy? Singing?_ Sousuke wonders, nothing short of incredulous. What on earth would a water-obsessed weirdo like Nanase Haruka even sing, anyway? The _Finding Nemo_ soundtrack? 

Haru goes straight to the ‘T’ section of the artists’ selection without even giving so much as a passing glance to the other singers. He clicks on Taylor Swift’s icon, flicks through her discography with the air of an expert, and selects a song titled _New Romantics_. 

All Sousuke can do is stare in disbelief as Haru hits all the notes perfectly _and_ stays in tune. Though he messes up the lyrics occasionally since his English apparently isn’t the best according to Rin, his voice is... well, pleasant for one. Sweet, almost like a croon, but there’s also a certain air of Attitude in the inflection of his words. Kinda like he’s challenging someone. 

When he’s done, Hazuki and Ryuugazaki instantly heap praise upon praise on him. In flawless synchronisation, Sousuke and Rin instantly whirl on Makoto for an explanation. 

“Haru’s always been a great singer?” Makoto says, smiling sheepishly like he wasn't aware this was indeed a little-known fact. 

The skeptical staring continues. 

“I’m serious! It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s really nice to listen to!”

The staring persists. 

“Uh, my siblings are fans? So sometimes he sings her songs for them? I mean—” A pout that looks ridiculous on a muscular guy pushing six feet tall forms on Makoto’s face. “—I try to sing for them too, but they say my voice doesn’t suit her songs.”

That breaks Rin out of his stunned catatonia. “Haru sings Taylor Swift to Ran and Ren?!” 

“Yeah,” Makoto says with a chuckle. “ _New Romantics_ is their favourite, so that’s why he has the lyrics, harmonies and whatnot down almost to a T.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

Sousuke thinks he might have an opinion on _Nanase fucking Haruka_ singing Taylor Swift songs to little kids on demand, but all that gets dashed away when Rin snatches up the remote control from Hazuki. Sousuke can only watch, fascinated and maybe a little terrified, as the words on the screen blur together with how fast Rin is scrolling through it to find his song. When the cursor lands on _Look What You Made Me Do_ , he jams his finger down on the button with the vengeful fury of a warrior reclaiming his pride. He raises the microphone like a sword and proceeds to belt out the song deep from his diaphragm, spitting bars for the pre-chorus and breaking down into a rap-like rhythm for the chorus. When the song ends with the umpteenth _“Look what you just made me do”_ , he looks at Haru straight in the eyes.

The message is clear: _the battle is on._

From then on, it’s a battle of Taylor Swift’s entire discography between Rin and Haru. After _Look What You Made Me Do_ , it’s _I Did Something Bad_ by Haru, followed by an especially scream-y rendition of _I Knew You Were Trouble_ by Rin. The cycle perpetuates itself, with EDM beats, with acoustic guitars, with a freaking _heartbeat_ of all things belying a soft synth beat, with Haru and Rin’s voices at different intervals.

After several rounds of back-and-forth, Sousuke thinks he has an idea of what this—the whole plot twist of _Haru_ knowing Taylor Swift songs well enough to sing them on demand especially— _really_ is about. Somehow, amidst the chaos of lyrics being lobbied back and forth in the tiny room, Sousuke manages to seek out the one pillar of normalcy otherwise known as Makoto.

“You all planned this after I called, didn’t you?“ 

Makoto’s eyes widen. “Was it that obvious?”

“I mean.” Sousuke throws a quick glance at Haru singing about how some girl wears short skirts while he wears T-shirts with an eerily-perfect straight face. “I find it kinda hard to believe that Haru over there _really_ listens to enough Taylor Swift songs to belt them out at the drop of a hat at a karaoke war.”

“I wasn’t lying about Haru singing for my siblings! But—” Makoto’s expression softens. “—we really wanted to see Rin enjoy himself too. Haru, Nagisa and I knew he liked Taylor Swift ever since we met at Iwatobi SC.” 

(What? _Sousuke_ didn't have a clue until several months ago. He's a little miffed, since he was there first in Rin’s life, but he chalks it up to Rin only discovering his love for Taylor Swift after moving to Iwatobi.)

“He was totally _obsessed_ , I tell you. He kept singing her songs all the time when he wasn’t swimming, so much that I found myself humming the exact same songs at home too. But then…” Makoto frowns, as if surfacing an unpleasant thought. “I guess some kids gave him a hard time for liking Taylor Swift even though he’s a boy, which obviously doesn’t make sense. You don’t need to be a certain gender or meet some kind of, I don't know, _prerequisite_ to like a singer. But yeah, ever since he returned from Australia, we didn’t hear him talk about her or sing her songs at all. Nagisa was the one who had this idea of having this karaoke session to ‘revive’ his old love for her music.” This time, when he looks at Rin, he chuckles fondly. “Though I see now that any 'reviving’ isn’t necessary.”

Sousuke rests his face in his palm as he watches Rin sing _New Year’s Day_. There’s a gentle smile on his face, a complete contrast to the scowl he gave Sousuke every time Sousuke so much as mentioned Taylor Swift’s name, and his eyes are closed as he softly croons the lyrics. 

It’s like the whole room is frozen in time, purely to watch Rin sing. He’s enchanting like a siren in those myths, yet Sousuke thinks he wouldn’t mind being dragged under by this particular one. Ryuugazaki’s eyes are sparkling the way they do when he’s particularly moved by something he deems beautiful, Makoto is beaming from ear to ear, and Nagisa’s mouth hangs open in a small ‘o’. Even Haru is watching. If you just glance at him in quick passing, you’d immediately assume he was spacing out or otherwise not particularly invested in Rin’s performance. But because of that, you would miss the tiny, barely-there smile teasing at the corners of his lips. It’s not obvious in typical Nanase-fashion, but even Haru is enchanted by Rin.

And most of all, Rin’s aura is sparkling and captivating like a diamond. That goes to show how magical his singing is, because you would never otherwise catch Sousuke talking about something stupid and intangible like a person’s _aura._

But what is neither stupid nor intangible is Rin’s love for music—not just Taylor Swift’s, but music as a whole. It’s present in his smile, in the inflection of his tone, in how his hand rests right over his heart as he serenades his bewitched audience in this frozen piece of time. The shackles of insecurity and self-consciousness have fallen off, giving way to a sweet, melodious power Sousuke never thought he would ever bear witness to.

_Ah,_ Sousuke’s mind goes. He might be in love. Just a little bit. Or maybe he has always been somewhat in love with Rin over the decade they've known each other; from when they first met in Sano, to Sousuke defending Rin when some stupid kids were mocking him and calling him Rin-Rin, which led to their friendship. After that it was constant races to Sano SC from their school, fighting over the last popsicle on blistering summer afternoons, and the promise they made that kept their souls linked together even when Rin went abroad. And when Rin returned to Japan, it was competing to see who got the higher test on their mid-term exams, training together in the gym, fighting, finally telling Rin the truth about his shoulder, and holding Rin as he broke down.

The song is about to end. When the chorus is flashed onscreen for the last time, Rin’s hand clutches his shirt over his heart. His smile is tinged with bittersweetness—and Sousuke is struck with the sudden realisation that he wants to preserve this moment. This is the first time he has seen Rin so passionately and freely indulge in the music he loves. Of course it would be a competition with Haru that gets him all fired up and unrestrained, and of course there’s that tiny twinge of jealousy in Sousuke because Haru can do so effortlessly what Sousuke didn't even know how to for Rin. 

But mostly he just wants to take this moment, crystallise it, and preserve it somewhere safe, like a locket resting over a beating heart. 

_“Please don’t ever become a stranger,_

_(Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)_

_whose laugh I could recognize anywhere._

_(Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)_

_Please don’t ever become a stranger,_

_(Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)_

_whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…”_

Rin pauses and opens his eyes. Slowly, he surveys the room, focusing on each one of them as the music continues playing in the background. It’s a single glance aimed at Sousuke’s way, but the message rings across loud and clear in sharp contrast to the gentle piano playing in the background. Sousuke knows Rin will refuse to acknowledge this ever happened once this is over, and he knows he will most likely be maimed in his sleep if he so much as breathes even a syllable of the Karaoke Incident to their teammates. 

But in this moment with Rin, flushed from the energy he’s been pouring into his songs and smiling with a shyness unseen before, Sousuke wants to hold on to it and never let it go, even for the fleeting few seconds left in the song. 

_“And I will hold on to you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this! thanks for reading :) feel free to HMU on tumblr [@hqissodelicate](https://hqissodelicate.tumblr.com/) to chat :D


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